WaCkY bLaStErS

Wacky Blasters

So, last Friday I uploaded the sixth installment of the ever-popular Wacky Blasters series, this episode starring Max Pacheco, Spencer Hensel, and myself. I’ve been making the wacky blasters series ever since the week or two before the Christmas break of my sophomore year. It was my first attempt at a series, and so far its worked pretty well. Each of the episodes have a handful of elements in common (disposable characters, self-righteous geek dialogue, an inability on the part of the protagonists to solve their own problems… but we’ll get to that later), but each episode works perfectly fine on its own. They’re nothing special, but ideally, they’re fun.

The first three Wacky Blasters episodes were done together, like I explained before, in the time right before Christmas of 2006. I wanted to do a series of smaller projects that I could break the filming-of with less pressure than I’d had in the months before trying to finish Mixed Business, and I wanted them to have at least something in common. The first three are starring Eric Camire and Andrew King as the nameless geek protagonists who sit around wasting their lives arguing about trivial geek matters. In the first episode, I show up as a 19th century time traveler who tries his best to explain his predicament, only to be met with indifference and then annoyance. Eventually Spencer Hensel’s character, also nameless, shows up and asserts himself as superior to the geeks. He is shot from a low angle making him look important, he is in strong contrasting light to emphasize the place he takes up in his movements, he stands and is capable of action whereas the two geeks are sitting passively and seemingly unable (or simply unwilling) to solve their own time traveler problem. Eventually Spencer’s character just kills mine, and all three, geek and bully alike, have so little respect for human life that their first (and as shown on screen, only) inclination is to throw the body in the closet.

 

 

The second episode sets up just like the first with the two geeks arguing and then suddenly interrupted by yet another time traveler, this time played by Max Pacheco in what is still one of his best roles in collaboration with Rojhelio Studios. It should be noted that this character played by Max is the origin of the now infamous Jazz Man character of the “JAZZ” films. This time the geeks talk “geek talk” again, the time traveler comes in again, the bully character shows up and kills him, again, and they throw his body in the closet. The joke of the first film lying in the hope that the audience goes something along the lines of

“Why the hell did a time traveler just show up, and why did they kill him instead of talking to him… I mean Hell, who knows what wondrous adventures and possibilities he could open up for us?”

Whereas the joke of the second film being,

“Oh, I guess the novelty of the intruder being a time traveler has worn off and now the joke is that they show up all the time, more like cockroaches than individuals.”

The third Wacky Blasters is radically different. With the first being about a time traveler showing up, the second being about a suspension of disbelief in which time travelers apparently now show up all the time, the third completely fucks with everything the first two set up. We once again start up with Andrew and Eric conversing in geek talk, but once they come to a pause there is once again a knock at the door. We have been built up to assume that the knock is yet another time traveler, but this time we don’t see whose behind the door. Remember that the two geeks passively let things happen TO them, they are all talk and no action, they never get up and open the door, they merely speak permission to the people on the other side of the door. They also never kill any of the time travelers; they have someone else do it for them. However this time they decide to torture the poor mute girl, played by Emmanuel’s own Kyla Bossung, who they keep tied up under their bed, they first thing they actually do. They also pick up puppets with which to molest the poor girl, possibly to add to their level of alienation from the rest of humanity in that they are incapable of direct human contact and understanding of complex human emotion, but probably just because I had the puppets in my room. It should also be noted that because the girl is mute and unable to move, she may very well have been under the bed the whole time of the first two films. Because she couldn’t talk. Because she’s mute.

Anywho, they touch the shit out of that poor little girl, all to the tune of a very creepy song from Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange (handpicked by our very own Mr. Max Pacheco) and somewhere in the middle, Spencer’s character comes out of nowhere and starts touching her too. He all ready has a puppet, he came prepared. As all three heteronormative patriarchal men begin reinforcing their dominance over women and overt sexism, they begin chanting “Cups on Bottom,” over and over again. This phrase came from… actually, far too many people have asked both myself, Max, Spencer, and several others where this came from, and giving away its secret would ruin the joke. So I’m afraid I’m not going to explain where this phrase came from, one of my best magician’s secrets, other than to say that its creation involved an animal. A mammal to be more specific.

Wacky Blasters 4 is a radical departure from the series. Its on Max Pacheco’s channel Marcobat16, and it should be mentioned that it’s the first video Max ever directed and put online. Its written, directed, ad edited by Max, and its also starring Eric, Andrew, and Spencer. Max wrote overly pretentious dialogue about a discussion over the Nintendo Wii versus the Playstation 3, mixed with seemingly meaningless imagery, to create one of the funniest Wacky Blasters ever made. He also used the ever-popular catch phrases “Cups on Bottom,” and, “For Rome,” neither of which bear any contextual meaning. He used classical music, strange costumes, and cinematography that draws almost selfish attention to itself to completely parody the form of a Wacky Blasters episode in the form of an art film. It should be mentioned that Max knew exactly what he was doing with this short film; he wasn’t actually trying to make his first video either a tag-on to one of mine nor was he trying to make an actual over-ambitions pretentious art film. He is as much making fun of me as he is himself as he is the foolish nature of the foolish Wacky Blasters films. The fact that I even have to clarify these things is sad, but I’m afraid that the question of Max’s intent has been brought up before, and I must clarify once and for all.

Wacky Blasters 5 was done months after the last four episodes. It was uploaded on Neil Cicierega’s channel, and if you know anything about young Mr. Cicierega, you know why that explains why it has well over 50,000 views. It should also be mentioned that this video was uploaded on June 6th, D-Day, which I still find funny/ironic. Episode 5 complicates the nature of the Wacky Blasters series in both form and content. For one thing, there are two separate intruders to the two geeks’ peace, and they must resolve the conflict themselves. Their geek argument has been sped up the pace of simple one-on-one word dichotomies, and they are significantly more conscious of their surroundings. In episode #5 Patrick Ryan comes in as the character Aladdin and hands the two nameless geeks his magic lamp. After they rub it, quite sexually, Jack White (played by, big surprise, Ryan Murphy) who pesters them with in-jokes and references until they wish for Aladdin to come back. He does come back, then removes Jack, and they all dance to a song from the Disney film of Aladdin. This episode was a lot of fun to film, I’m glad I finally got both Pat and Neil into a Wacky Blasters, and I think it was pretty funny. The only regret that I have about that project being that almost all of the primary cinematography was done by J.L. Carrozza, who no one recognizes because he was never on screen. Jules did a great job, and without him behind the camera the project would have been twice as hard to film. Neil also edited the project, and I think, did a great job.

It’s easy to think of all the things that make the Wacky Blasters episodes different from each other, but I’d like to tape a paragraph and write a bit about what they have in common. First of all, Spencer Hensel is visible in every episode. Every episode starts off with two characters who are equal protagonists, and every one of them has the two in disagreement in some form. Every episode ends and most start with a title of multiple voices saying “Wacky Blasters,” and every one of the episodes have the two main characters helpless to their circumstances to a significantly measurable degree. The story/drama cannot begin without the introduction of a character not in the establishing scene; there has never been an episode without the “plot” being instigated by an outsider.

There are also elements of the films that are pertinent to most but not all of the episodes. Most of the episodes involve an overt argument between the two main protagonists (except for #6), most of the episodes have the two lead protagonists nameless (except for #6), most of the films include music not owned exclusively by Rojhelio Studios (except for #6), and most of the episodes include someone being killed (except for #6 and #4… I think? I’ll assume Jack died or at least might as well have for the sake of this argument). With all this being said, it is strongly implied that episode #6 is the start of something new; new ideas, stories, plots, and thank God, jokes. This attitude of new and worthwhile ideas (worthwhile is an opinion, not a fact) will be upheld in the future episodes of the Wacky Blasters series.

So… as for the future. I have plans for at least two more Wacky Blasters episodes, both of which should be filmed and uploaded live by the end of this semester (AKA, by early May). I know what #7 and #8 will be, and I know for a fact that my long time collaborator, J.L. Carrozza (youtube channel jlcarrozza) has plans for at least one wacky blasters of his own. If Neil, Pat, Jake, Jules, Spencer, Max, Kevin, or myself have any more ideas for the future, they’ll be sure to make it up on that big 4-3 inch screen. Yep… the one on youtube.

P.S.- Spencer and Neil never rubbed the lamp sexually, I just wanted to write that. It sounded cute.

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